Today I am forced to let go of my type-A personality.

Today I am going through a rather uncomfortable time. People have described me in many different ways: friendly, helpful, thrifty, pretty (OK, that last one may be a self-description but it still counts right????). But there is one word I hear a lot when people talk about me - organized! Yup, I take pride in my ability to plan ahead and maintain control of all situations. You will notice that spontaneity is not listed. Have you ever notice that I usually add new postings on Thursdays? Yeah- organized... Now I know there other words for it, but we will just stick with organized!

I was particularly thrilled with my idea of organization at the beginning of the school year. Each member of my family was given a magnetic plastic pocket that hangs on the refrigerator in which all of their items of paper remain until needed. You see this idea actually came out of desperation. I would leave some paper work on my husband's "pile" and then he would promptly return it to MY pile. This was very frustrating as I had already checked that particular thing off my to-do list. Well, the pockets have solved that problem- now it is clear that I am done with items and he needs to deal with them. Good solution right? OK, I may have taken things a bit far when I next introduced the file folders inside the pockets labeled "homework", "school info", "projects", "girl scouts"- you get the idea. And yes, I do have a label maker and no one is allowed to touch it... Hey it is good to have a plan- right???

Please don't get me wrong, I have plenty of toys, dirty dishes, clothes and candy wrappers (thanks to my son covertly stealing candy) laying around my house at any give time. Come on, I can't do everything... While I would really like a clean house, I am also a realist and understand that my hobbies are important too.

I think you are beginning to get the picture of how my mind works. Now I think you will also be able to understand the incredibly difficult situation in which I now find myself trying to function. Because of the economy, my husband has had to radically change his small business. He went from a few employees to none. Tomorrow he is moving out of his office into our home, did I mention he would be home full-time?!?! We hope he can find an office soon but we have no way to plan when that will be. Did you catch that NO WAY TO PLAN? Tomorrow he will no longer have a vehicle and we have no plan of attack for getting another one. Did you get that NO PLAN OF ATTACK? We have no long term business plan. We don't know what jobs he will get and when they will come. Again, did you notice NO LONG TERM BUSINESS PLAN? I think you are starting to get the idea that I have no control over organizing anything right now.

There is just one word that will describe what we have ahead of us- F A I T H.

I do know that God will provide (of course your prayers along those lines would be appreciated too). We have already seen God providing and I will spend some time in the near future documenting all HE has done for us. However, I think there is something else for me to learn here too. I have known for a while that my super organized schedule has kept me from ministry opportunities. I am happy to serve if I know ahead of time of the needs. Guess what? Many needs you can't plan for. Many times people need help during an emergency and I need to learn how to go with the flow, drop my plans and be there to help whenever God calls. Right now I am working on letting go of the plan. I am trying a little bit of a type-B personality on for size. Hopefully I can grow into something that God can use.

But for now, I have got to run. My kids come home in 10 minutes and I have unloading the dishwasher and a load of darks scheduled to go in the wash before they come home.... OK, I may need a little more practice with this letting go of a plan thing....